rainy season

aah...
it's been awhile the rain keep pouring this mother earth...
yah...
rainy season is coming...
and homesick is still sticking in me...
been suffering from this disease and can stand up properly...
I keep on eating something that keep me from this sadness...
I just wanna survived....
wanted to call my mom so badly...
but I can't...
I don't wanna cry when I talk to her...
I don't wanna make her worry about me...
I just wanna quit from this academy things!!!...
it's so tough and I can't bear with it any more ..  
been so sick inside me and I can't even have the courage to attend any class...
I don't even have classmate who used to help me just like before...
ahh...
been crying for the past few days...
and also been smiling to cover up that I'm ok in front of people ...
och...
yah...
I'm not ok...
I do really not ok...
it's so tough to pretend like nothing happen...
the final exam is around the corner...
can I survive till the end...
please help me god...

mom...
I miss you so badly...
T_T